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So blessed to have found your blog! My daughter is still a little young to really get it all yet, but I am collecting posts such as this to share with her in the future. We love hearing from moms like you.
Keep it up! I grew up in the era where my parents gave their blessing to anyone I wanted to date as long as they were a Christianno questions asked, no interview, etc. I had never even heard of courtship, etc. When I started dating my husband, 20th guy I dated!!!
How dumb! My husband and I just celebrated our 4th anniversary. Our first kiss was on our wedding day in front of our church family. In fact, we never even dated. We spent time in groups with other guys and girls from church.
This is the safest way to get to know each other, without putting yourself in a position where things could get out of hand, or where you give your heart away to someone other than your spouse. I did kiss a few guys before I got married, but all that did was bring pain and regret.
The blessing of The Lord makes rich and adds NO sorrow. I am one very happy and blessed woman! Joanne Chilcotte. I get it. The setting you found yourself in made such courtship possible, and I would love to be living in such a setting. Yet reality is reality. There is no infrastructure of older, caring people available to facilitate such courtship.
For sure, some people behave very differently in a group than they do in a one-on-one setting and marriage is definitely a one-on-one thing if there ever was. Can the guy hold a conversation without lots of people helping it along?
Does the guy have a solid foundation?
Or does he just put on a good show? Groups sometimes have weird dynamics, too. Sometimes, the group members promote people as couples based purely on popularity e. So, I find myself in the traditional world of dating. I love this!!
I totally disagree with this. Kissing can show caring, love, and devotion. I only kissed boys I was in a relationship with, and it was never random.
I think random kissing and flings can be harmful, but kisses in a committed relationship show comfort, love, and caring for another. There are certainly all types of kisses, which makes this issue even more complicated. I feel strongly about this topic because I think sometimes this mindset leads some Christians to get married WAY too early, just to be able to kiss. Yes, our culture is hypersexual sometimes, but I think worrying about hugs so much is hypersensitive.
I hug my grandparents, brothers, friends, to show I care, not because of anything sexual. If this bothers you so much, how do you feel about holding hands? Physical touch is a love language. I agree there are limits, but try thinking of it in a non-sexual, more comforting way.
I know my aunt and uncle saved really intense kissing for marriage. They only gave each other small kisses that were like you described. You are worried over the wrong thing here. Kissing is fun. You have to give people a healthy release or sexual tension, or you will end up with unhealthy releases i. Thank you for some common sense. Unfortunately, many of the posters on here belong to legalistic churches. Millie, great point!
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The next question is this, what does the word commitment mean? Committed for the week, year, month? How long? If you can back up your reasoning from Scriptural principles I would love to see it.
Absolutely, positively, great message! Bethany, I love the fact that while you are still young God has imprinted on your heart how special our bodies are to him. He has given you a wonderful task; stay strong in your faith. I think this article is very well written and addresses the heart of the issue. So many times we try and give rules or we as teens receive rules but without a reason or good understanding.
I know for me personally I have saved my first kiss but several kids in my youth group did not, or did for a while. For me the difference was really feeling like my body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and I need to honor that. I am grateful for the additional verses and understanding here in this post. Now I am 21, single, and still keeping my first kiss for my marriage. Thanks for being someone else out there willing to wait.
It is a great encouragement!!!
You need to read the Song of Solomon. Yes, but the Bible never says that the content in the Song of Solomon is righteous or pure.
In fact, I would say it is the opposite, as King Solomon was not a very pure man. We should learn from the mistakes he made, not use his mistakes as excuses for our similar behaviour. Awesome post! I really enjoyed reading it!!! We need more women like you!
I have done many wrong things. But i fail miserably whenever i take any strict decision on not even thinking about it:'. You will have accomplished something just to find yourself a virgin who is your age AND whom you likewise find attractive enough to want to marry. Who said this was a Moral issue I think its a way to receive a gift. No one is judging you for rushing into things this article is just showing a better way. I think its a beautiful thing to wait. Again, I refer you to the issue of maturity.
WTF is wrong with you? Why is it such a big deal to kiss someone? How can you marry someone you have never even touched? You people are the reason why the IQ level of the American population is falling! Do you feel special just because you have never kissed? Consider this, would you ever go to a surgeon that has 0 experience, but is still accepted at his current job? No you would not! This is the same thing your doing with your marriage! You are committing to someone that has no experience and you also have no experience, that is a recipe for disaster!
I hope you find some sense along the way of life, may God enlighten your mind! This might not have anything remotely related to Christ and his sacrifice. And of course everyone is entitled to their opinion and their preferences. But why do blog posts like this make me think, esp. God forbid that we should be impure and undefiled. But you can cleanse my friend, she had her first kiss in elementary and lost her virginity in junior high.
God is glorified indeed. My question is why is this only girls? Is it only our job as Christian girls? Or as all Christians? Again, I just hope that parents and communities start properly and actively educating young people about important issues such as this. I hope kids learn early on what is good and appropriate to do, and what are things they should avoid.
The question is: if they kiss, would it arouse immoral thoughts?
Because a Christian guy is still human, so if you kiss him who knows if he may be tempted for more? Or even the girl for that matter. I always seem to attract the weirdest dudes.
Like that dude that I had never talked to in my LIFE not even a Hello asked my dad if he could take me to the homeschool prom. I was having none of that. Lol I wasnt. Any thoughts of kissing in my mind involve celebrity crushes lol. I was a virgin, when I married at the age of Did I kiss before marriage? It did not defile me, or rob me of any virtue. Many Christian churches have no problem with couples sharing a kiss, holding hands, etc.
Even the Puritans allowed people courting to sleep in the same bed in the bundling custom.
Though I do think that saving your first kiss for marriage is a great idea, one can do what they like, but to my fellow ladies, I ask you to wisely consider this and pray about it before you make a decision. This msg help us to make us holy infront of god and glorify the name of jesus. So please try to post more and more usefull msgs like to encourage not to committe for sin Your web site really help me to focus on gods will and i m trying to make me holy in everything i do.
This right here is everything. I notice that so many of us get sucked into the mentality that we should get as close to sin as possible without crossing over the line when really Christianity is about the opposite. Jesus even said that simply hating someone is like murder. Thinking about that I realized quickly that what God wants from us is total purity in thought and deed. I am so grateful for this article it really gave encouragement for maintaining a level of purity that is certainly counter cultural.
Praise God for this site! What nonsense. In reality, even holding hands or looking at a girl can tempt a boy. Everyone around me has suchh different opinions!!!! This post totally resonated with me and the sort of relationship I have with the man who proposed marriage to me. We have been together for almost 1. Kudos to you for wanting to save your first kiss until marriage! I, as a Christian whole-heartedly agree that we should stay away from anything that tempts us to sin.
However, the bible does not say that kissing before marriage is sinful. I say let people figure out what is best for them. Different people need different standards.
There is no one size fits all. But maybe consider that you need to be able to express normal affection, without getting sexually excited hahaha. You may have issues.
A treasure. I too am saving my first kiss for the man I marry!! Among Christians this is quite a topic!! I too would be nervous kissing for the first time in front of tons of people.
Not sure exactlyhmmm. What do you think about all of this? I am 31 and I have never kissed a guy. I agree completely with this and would like to add another verse or 3. For me, and maybe for a lot of others, I think that kissing is hard wired to our hearts. If we are to flee youthful lusts and to keep our hearts our own until the day we get married, then it is my belief that kissing should be out. Kissing, though in and of itself may not be bad, is a gateway to so many things that are sin.
So I stay away from that gate.
Thank you so much for writing about this! I have been very tempted over the last few months to kiss someone I deeply admire. The temptation got so bad that I had to stop seeing this guy for awhile, and ask my parents for godly advise.
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However this blog really helped me to focus on my purity, and not my fleshes desires. Thanks once again. I normally read this blog but had somehow missed this one.
Praying for you sister from Alberta Canada. It sure is hard. Whenever you are tempted, remember this verse, and at the same time ask yourself if this is glorifying God like the blog says. You are strong, and if you pursue things with a pure heart, you can overcome this.
I will also be praying for you. I have faith in you. Pingback: Google. Kissing after marriage is not a sign of purity! Pingback: Gifts Expectant Dad Lux. I want to start off by saying how thankful and grateful I am to know about your blogs and the wonderful things you do to encourage young girls. I grew up in a christian home and would say i never took anything to heart until recently my teen years.
Thank you very much. I suggest you to start researching, reading and praying about saving your kiss and see if it is really something you would like to do, not out of fear but out of love for yourself, your future husband and God.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousnessMy little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Be encouaraged in knowing that the Lord sees your heart of repentence and has forgiven you for your past sin since the very first time you repented for it! I grew up in a Christian home as well and made SO many mistakes before I really even understood them to be sins.
When I chose to say yes to a relationship with Jesus for myself, I started realizing all of my sin and carried around a feeling of guilt about my past but that is not the way God wants us to feel!
He wants to cleanse us and make us new with a new mindset because of the salvation He has provided for us!
He wants us to be able to run to Him for help when we realize sin in our lives. He wants to change us and help us become new creations in Him! Now, when I mess upI can run to Him and ask for forgiveness and new strength to resist the temptation to sin when it returns.
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Just keep turning to Jesus, my sister! He loves you and is the forgiver of our sins! Pick and choose wisely. I just wanted to mention that my mom read that book to me when I was little. I wished that I read this article before entering my relationship!
I am currently seventeen and a virgin, but I have kissed my current boyfriend. That is too far, Bethany. I have a different perspective on kissing now thanks to you. God bless. I agree with you. And besides, Jacob kissed Rachel before they married Genesis And afterward she ran and told her father about him. But nowhere does the Bible call this act impure.
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He kissed her because he loved her, and a kiss as a sign of love is pure, in my opinion. Also, kissing was more common in the Bible among fellow believers than it is now - at least in this country. So, while kisses can be used improperly, if the intention behind the kiss is pure, I see the kiss as pure.
Jesus came and raised the moral bar, so should we. Matthew I am saving my first kiss for marriage. But this post really helped me to see why!
I had a friend who is a very godly young women and she was in a relationship and then got engaged and when I saw her E photos I was hurt to see that in some of the pics they were kissing.
Thank you! This answered all of y Qs on this topic! I think it depends on each couple. I need advise i am 25 never kissed a boy my whole life because i hold high princeple of purity and believe in keeping it for my husband.
Now i started dating about 3 weeks ago a christian brother who thinks its ridiculous. I have felt pressurized by him because he has had previous relationships and kissing was not an issue. Now that said he says he loves me and also i do love him.
This issue might be a deal breaker for both of us. I wont kiss him, what do people think? This was two years ago so no idea what has happened, but I think your gut is already telling you what you need to do. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
Of course it is beautiful! What about Lot and his daughters? This is my opinion. So many figures in the Bible was described in their good sides or bad sides, yet God still with them. He got into a fight with his Abraham, and when they chose to separate because of this, he chose to take the best part of the country for himself. Remeber: God had promised that whole country to Abraham and his offspring.
And then, Lot, selfishly, took the best part for himself.
Lot then chose to live in Sodom, a city that was hated by God because the people in it were very sinful. Lot offered to give his own daughters to be raped by the men in Sodom in order to protect his guests. The Bible is not a compilation of stories about perfect people that we should follow.
There are a lot of bad characters mentioned in it. Is it okay, to kiss people in a purly platonic sense, like as an expression of friendship, not of lust? This is so great! I am in a relationship more just getting to know one another. In the play, Katherine kisses Jack the main character of the play and her love interestand the kiss is a pretty important moment in the plot and mood of the whole scene.
Sign up to receive our blog posts via e-mail and get a copy of our free e-book: Reaching Beyond Myself 30 Day Devotional. These Texas gals are passionate about God's beautiful design for womanhood and love sharing this message through blogging, speaking, and mentoring young women.
Personal Struggles. Kissing is totally the norm. Your Kiss is a gift.
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Viewing guys as brothers in Christ. What does the Bible say? Think through these verses with me. The Pure Bride. Soul searching questions. When you think about kissing a guy before marriage or think about past times when you have kissed a guyask yourself these questions: Will that interaction reflect absolute purity? Will there be not even a hint of sexual immorality?
Will God be glorified by what He sees? Will it awaken love before its appropriate time?
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