As a BetterHelp affiliate, I may receive compensation from BetterHelp or other sources if you purchase products or services through the links provided on this page. I meet most men that I date online. What do you look for when dating a man with kids? You also want women to know you're a devoted dad it's no secret chicks get hot for guys who are great with kids! But there are a few couples in my life who I look to as models of the kind of marriage I'd like one day. In these families, the parents put their relationship before the kids. They are the dynamic centriforce around which the family's life orbits.
But after several months, they started to hit it off very well and I slowly brought her around more. Today, we all live together and her relationship with the girls is amazing. I honestly couldn't ask for anything better and she cares about them so much. And I honestly believe that if I had rushed things or forced her down their throats, it wouldn't have turned out this way. And as Dan Pearce once said "the most difficult thing about dating as a single parent is deciding how much risk your own child's heart is worth".
I agree wholeheartedly. When we first separated, I lost myself in work and other stuff to keep my mind from wandering back to my girls. And after 9 months, I left my job of 11 years to pursue a full-time job managing a gym.
Unfortunately the pay sucked and barely covered my expenses and obligations and I was still on the hook for my full child support and alimony payment. This meant that I had to hustle before and after my full-time job, which kept me moving from 5 am to 10 pm every weekday. And on the weekends I had my girls. I was exhausted every weekend but refused to sit them in front of the TV so I could rest.
We went out, did fun things, and were pretty active. Fortunately, things have changed and I'm in a slightly better financial position, but it's still a struggle some months to cover everything. When I was married, my ex and I made the decisions for the girls together. Some were bad like catering to our first born daughter's every need and creating a very difficult child and others were good. When I first moved out, our intention was to try to co-parent as much as possible and be on the same page about the decisions for the girls.
The problem soon became that she didn't agree with some of the the things I was doing with the girls and I didn't agree with what she was doing. So now we are at an impasse and just seem to be agreeing to disagree.
I could list dozens more struggles and I know many of you have the same issues, but I love being a single dad and wouldn't trade any of it. And I'm willing to bet neither are you.
My biggest struggle was that I was so mad at my ex for taking my child away from me for half her life. I still struggle with that. My ex also babies her to the extent she is a very sheltered child. I wish I was her only parent. Money is also hard too.
However I can say she, my daughter is also the best thing ever also. Jules I feel your pain. I was separated from my son when he was six months old. People will judge us, but so what? Recently became a single dad, due to my ex-wife not wanting to get off the drugs. I feel like I just wasted the last four years of my life with her. I thought I married my best friend of 12 years, 4 years ago, and I thought were doing great, but things totally changed.
She gave up on our family we just started. Somebody gives me some advice. This is hard doing it alone now. Please any advice is good advice. Me time? I get up at 3 in the morning, clean, do laundry, prep meals, get my child to school, commute over an hour, work through lunch so I can leave early and commute back home over an hour to pick my child up after track practice, only to drive him 20 miles to wrestling practice, help coach the practice, drive home, cook the meal, do homework with my son, feed the animals, shut the house down, and pass out, only to wake up the next morning at 3 to do it all over again.
Imagine if you only got 3 hours a month to live your life? I am with you Richard. I am fortunate enough to be self employed and to have a flexible schedule with a second job on the side. While difficult, being a single dad is rewarding. I have a great relationship with both of my children and we try to live life to the fullest.
The freedom of being the one in charge and the ability to lead my family are points of pride for me. My second job is as a bartender. I planned it that way. I thank you so much for this work!
I love it! Knowing what I want and need are so absolutely key to weeding out the riff raff. I thank you!! Great read. I am a single mom of one, dating a single full time dad of two. The past few months has been an overwhelming whirlwind of baseball double headers, gymnastics lessons, curriculum nights, cooking for three children with three different eating habits, wrestling in the living room, birthday parties every other week, etc etc.
I really have gotten to make love to him twice in the past two months. Not joking. Its frustrating.
Ive spent the past few weeks so mad, hopeless, and a little bitter, wondering if this is what i really wanted. After reading this, it puts it all into a new perspective. All this time I wanted to meet a man who would respect my situation, love my little girl, and understand and my priorities and obligations to my daughter coming first in my life, - here I was cursing, and rolling my eyes at his lack of attention he gives me, the lack of time and cash he is able to spend taking me out, when he is doing exactly what I have been struggling through, just DOUBLED.!!
He is amazing! This really hit home. How selfish was I being? Dating a single Dad is the biggest blessing for me. Someone who adores his children, and selflessly gets along with his ex wife without drama, puts all of his material wants and wishes aside so they can have what they need for school and sports somewhere in between I have faith that we will eventually get some time for each other, and maybe have our fourth date and maybe some wild sweaty fun with no clothes?
Dating a Single Dad
What are your thoughts about this? Easy to answer, for me. A single parent, in my book, is anyone who parents alone. Wow, I am really impressed with your insightfulness! Great work! You can include me in any of the further areas of topics for discussion.
I am a single woman who does not have children dating a single dad and we get along wonderfully. I am interested in his life, he is interested in mine. We find connection in many different ways, including his kids. He is very open and kind hearted. Thankfully neither he nor I wrote each other off based on me not having children yet.
We would have missed out! I have been a stay at homemaker who helped my husband stay organized with his insurance business. The last few years I have been a caretaker for my elderly parents. I am scared to be on my own. I married young and had no experience prior to my husband. I grew up in an east European immigrant household. My mother had emotional shortcomings such as not fully loving me based on her superstion of the day I was born etc.
My father left us children for weeks at a time without food etc. My childhood was dark and sad. As a girl and teenager I dreamed of meeting Prince Charming. I now know that it seems so childish and premature in the idea of that happening; however it was what got me through most days. So I thank my ex husband for wanting me to stay at home with them as well. God did bless me with being attractive. Lol But the only guys that have approached or have shown interest in me are guys that just want to have sex or are interested in just having another attractive woman by their side.
Also, I take great pride in only having slept with one man, but what are my chances of finding a man that has the same old-fashioned values as me? Great article! Thank you. I have a couple of questions. Doing joint family activities and events is understandable, but do they have to keep chit-chatting and posting family pictures of each other on social networking sites in front of friends, family and myself?
Would be interesting to know your thoughts. I have started to date a single dad of teenagers! I have asked to take it slow, but he seemed to want to go exclusive fairly rapidly. I am a single mother of a 20 yr. I have more freedom with my time than he does with his two children, and his devotion to his daughter is sweet.
I am in the stage where I have to go with the flow and see if he keeps pursuing me as their are lulls in his texts and calls. The dates have gone well no sex just lots of affection and kissing as we are getting to know each other on my insistence. When I dated childless men, I did everything I could to rally my resources to care for my child while I went out on a date.
It meant getting to go out for 4 hours and then going to get my little one. Somehow, my single dad seems to jump at the beckon call and spontaneous planning of his teens. All things are possible if one resourceful. I completely agree with John McElhenney, This is a great write-up, though some are imaginary per your statement in answers, you did pour the inner thoughts of a Single Parent Dad.
I am a single parent with two kids, my thoughts are inline with you. I accept the fact about introducing the kids, this should be the very well placed in the order of events once a major decision to next step is done and only after that.
Many a times, a Single parent dad is not a choice for even a Single parent mom, world worships a single parent mom, but i have never even seen a heart felt remembrance of such people anywhere, People who know usrecognise the value we put in to raise the kids, however there is no where the world recognises it. Without a father, the child would have not come in to this world, i do agree that women go through labor pain etc.
Thanks again for the great post! That is so NOT true. You put it a lot better than me. But there are plenty of girl out there.
2) Feeling powerless against our legal system
I kind of like the other article about single dads and dating. I would be happy enough with or without children, although I come from a huge family so I grew up with big gatherings and parties and would prefer that sort of life. But men my age or even 10 years older either want to sleep around or want a woman who can give them children.
I would have no issue dating someone who already had children, although my concern would be that they both the father and the child would never consider me as a parental figure.
I suppose it is dramatically different if the biological mother is not around and you can literally jump in and provide that role for them.
That would be the perfect situation for me. I would have no problem loving that child as my own, much in the same way that I would if I adopted.
However, I know in most cases the mother is very much around and I would never have much if any say over the parenting. That makes it a lot harder. I find your comments related to only dating women who have children to be offensive.
For personal reasons I will not discuss, I did not choose to be childless and would absolutely change the situation if I could.
My point, is that there are amazing childless women out there who would make phenomenal partners and stepmothers if only they were given the chance. You could be missing out on an amazing woman who has so much love to give you and your kids. You are right to have pride and direction in your dating life, and I am happy for your success. In dating a few women without kids, perhaps I learned that I wanted them to have the same commitment to their kids that I had to mine. With a non-parent, my kids always seemed to be competition rather than a celebration.
It sounds like you have been lucky enough to not date a narcissist. What I am trying to say is that child-status is not a reliable filter to find a kind and understanding partner. You can certainly stumble upon a mom who wants all of your attention, or even their kids to be in an elevated spotlight.
Offering an article of tips and marginalizing a whole sector of the dating community is a slippery slope. Just an idea. I am not bashing your opinions, just hope you might consider a broader scope. As a dating coach I should hope you recognize the way a potential partner could manipulate something like that or how your clients might be missing the mark with a checklist of attributes that are not helpful. It is VERY possible to find a childfree woman who will ALSO make your kids a joy, priority, and something to be celebrated without trying to be a mom replacement.
I feel like the message behind your desire to date a mom is to have a connection over your kids.
This is possible with a childfree woman. Good luck. I think I wrote to you before about single dads dating childless women. I am childless through infertility and miscarriage and am a widow.
He has an eleven-year-old daughter, a year-old daughter and a twenty-four-year-old son. Same mum, health reasons for the gap. My partner has two nights a week with his daughters and alternate weekends.
Sep 14, A startling confession from his wife while out with friends angered Doug Zeigler enough to explore the stereotype of men who are divorced and have kids. So You Want to Date a Single Dad. Challenges of dating a single mom or single dad can include: Is it worth it to date a man or woman with kids? It can be. It can also cause trouble in the relationship and lead to a breakup. But that is up to you. If you are indeed ready for a real love, create a space for her or him. If it is a serious, committed, long-term relationship, the.
I met the son first. I was far more nervous about meeting them, but it went really well and now the daughters and the son often ask to see me when they have weekend time with their dad. Sometimes I do things with the girls while their dad is doing household chores. We love to cook together and they like being in my studio, painting.
Other times I am very happy to do my own thing - I work and am slowly separately building up my later- life art career, so I have no need to spend all weekend every weekend with my partner and the girls when they are alternate weekending with him. I have got room for them in my life and like them too - a lot. But then prejudice often means the person with fixed ideas is the poorer! But we can listen and learn. JM, thank you for your telling story.
You are correct, childless women have much to offer. I have dated several childless women and was not put off by their lack of progeny. Again, I agree those kids would have missed out had you not had a relationship with their father.
I am happy for you and send hopes of the best future for you all. Thanks again for connecting with me. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
Im dating a single dad
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Why kids don't always come first when dating as a single parent
Feeling the Feelings Men are often accused of not feeling their feelings. Here are several points where I think we need more discussion. Dating younger women. Straight to sex. Spread the love. Tags: dating a single da dating a single fatherdating a single momdating a single parentdating after divorcedating divorced da loving a man with kidsloving a single da loving a single fathersingle dad datesingle dad datingsingle dad seekssingle dadssingle fathers datingsingle parent relationshipsingle parenting challengessingle parents datingsingle-parent dating.
Lib 22 Oct Reply. Lib 23 Oct Reply. Good luck to both of us! Yeah, I saw that. Good luck to all of us out there. Lizzie 1 Nov Reply. Lizzie, Thank you for your heartfelt response.
Kelly 1 Aug Reply. Larissa 28 Mar Reply. Lizzie 2 Nov Reply. Thanks for your comments.
The dialogue is what is most important. Lizzie 3 Nov Reply. Lizzie 5 Nov Reply. Wise man :.
Misty 12 Jul Reply. Haha I am right down the road in San Antonio!
Keep the good work up!