The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other. I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship.
Among adults currently in a romantic relationship, the vast majority 83 percent considered their current partner to be their best friend. For those who are currently married, the rate was even higher. Men and women had similar rates, while younger respondents were slightly less likely than older respondents to view their partner as their best friend.
Dating your best friend
The overall numbers from this recent poll dwarf the earlier reported rate of best-friend romantic partners. In a study, only 44 percent of college students indicated their romantic partner was also their best bud.
But expectations for modern relationships have evolved in the intervening years. We hold our relationships to higher standards than we have in previous decades. In particular, couples now expect their relationships to promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals.
For example, your partner should help you become a better person by teaching you new things like how to make the perfect creme brulee, taking you places like the cool new trampoline park and opening your eyes to new perspectives such as the benefits of eating a more vegetarian-based diet.
Although this expectation for growth could conceivably place an unwieldy burden on your relationship, researchers believe that modern relationships are up to the task. In fact, the idea that a relationship can help an individual become a better person, a phenomenon that researchers call self-expansionis a useful one; relationships that provide more expansion are also of higher quality. In order to hit all these self-improvement targets, you may need more from a spouse or romantic partner than was expected in years past - and a partner who is also your best friend may be a step in the right direction.
We wanted to see if these best-friend romances were really better.
This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love - based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests - last longer and are more satisfying. Other research shows that those in friendship-based love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an important part of the love.
A study of married individuals revealed that those with higher scores on the friendship-based love scale also reported more relationship satisfaction, greater perceived importance of the relationship, greater respect for their spouse, and felt closer to their spouse.
7 Things To Know Before You Start Dating a Friend
More recently, across two studies with nearly participants in relationships, those who place more value on the friendship ct of their relationship also report more commitment, more love and greater sexual gratification. In addition, valuing friendship also decreased the chances of the couple breaking up. Best-friend love is starting to sound better and better. When researchers asked over of these couples about their secret to relationship success and longevity, what was the number one reason?
Simple: their partner was their best friend. The second most common response was liking their spouse as a person, another key facet of friendship-based love.
Dating your best friend can turn your most significant friendship into something really special. Yes, there are pitfalls - high expectations and the fear of ruining what you have among them - but if you go into it with your eyes open, who's to say it won't work out? 5 . Jun 04, "Best friend compatibility is different than partner compatibility and your best friend may be masquerading as a great date - because you're not running each other through the dating gauntlet Author: Amanda Chatel. These findings demonstrating the benefits of dating or marrying your best friend make perfect sense when you consider the type of relationship best friends share. Friends enjoy spending time.
These findings demonstrating the benefits of dating or marrying your best friend make perfect sense when you consider the type of relationship best friends share. Friends enjoy spending time together, share similar interests, take care of each other, trust each other and feel a lasting bond between them. By recognizing the parallels between best friends and romantic partners, you can benefit from holding both types of relationships to the same standards.
PROS AND CONS OF DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND
Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of State your interest simply if you are still just friends. If your friend doesn't know that you have a romantic interest in them, tell them in a straightforward but non-threatening way.
Explain that you are attracted to them and want to pursue a romantic relationship with them. Make it clear that you will understand if they don't feel the same way but that you wanted to be honest about your feelings either way. For instance, say, "I have strong feelings for you and I want to be more than just a friend, but I will totally understand if you aren't interested in taking things to the next level.
Share your concerns with your best friend to maintain honesty. Moving from friendship to romance is a risk that may be challenging to take.
Share any worries you have about losing your close relationship to see if they feel the same way. Ask if there are any other concerns about the situation that they have to get a clear understanding of what obstacles may be facing you both.
Establish the boundaries of your new relationship to avoid misunderstandings. Communicate your romantic wants and needs clearly to your partner from the start. Avoid the assumption that they will intuitively know how what will be okay with you and make you happy.
Be sure to outline any behaviour that you consider unacceptable from a romantic partner so they know how you want to be treated.
Avoid making assumptions about what your partner wants. After transitioning from friendship to a relationship, you may think that you already know what your partner wants romantically. Always check with your partner to see what goals and desires they have as these may change over time, and in different situations. If you catch yourself guessing what they might like, stop and ask them about it to double check. They will appreciate your effort and concern about their feelings. Method 2 of Make sure that your motivations are pure and not temporary.
May 09, When you've re-downloaded every new dating app only to swear off romance for the rest of your life two hours later, dating a trusted friend can feel like a great option. They're cute, they're nice. 23 Things That Inevitably Happen When You're Dating Your Best Friend. Two bodies, one person. by Lara Parker. BuzzFeed Staff 1. You'll have about a million nicknames for each other, and each one. Just a word of advice on dating your best friend: It can be next to impossible to go back to the way you used to be if dating them doesn't work out. However, knowing that you'll be dating someone whom you trust wholeheartedly can certainly make it .
Think about your current state of mind and life circumstances and ask yourself if your romantic feelings might be caused by these factors. Sometimes life events can cause people to seek comfort, stability, excitement, or validation from other people in our lives who they don't genuinely want to be with.
Avoid pursuing a relationship with your best friend if you might be using them to feel better. For instance, you may seek comfort and distraction in a romance with your best friend after a death in the family. Avoid getting physically intimate until you are sure of your chemistry.
Take things slowly in your new relationship so that you can both figure out your feelings without distractions. Romantic touching and sexual contact can blur the lines of a relationship and confuse boundaries. Try to let your physical relationship evolve naturally out of genuine chemistry and affection. Be consistent about your romantic advances to avoid confusion. Moving slowly is a good way of avoiding confusing hot-and-cold behaviour.
Making a grand romantic move one week, then acting like a casual buddy the next will leave your friend unsure of your feelings. Take things slow and gradually build up to bigger gestures or commitments so you won't be overwhelmed by the situation.
For instance, don't show up to your friend's workplace with flowers one day and introduce them to colleagues as your "buddy" a few days later. Give each other space sometimes to avoid getting tired of each other.
Taking things to the next level with your best friend can reinforce an already strong bond, making it tempting to spend all of your time with them. Take some time apart to pursue your own interests and to make sure that you get the chance to miss each other.
The Advantages of Dating Your Best Friend. You Already Know A Lot About the Person You Are Dating; One advantage of dating your best friend is that you are already close. There is no need to form a new bond. You have a history and shared experiences. You already know that you connect with that thefoodlumscatering.com: Joy Youell. Dating your best friend is almost like living in a real life movie. It's more than just having a boyfriend; the romantic relationship develops after you already have a strong friendship together. Best friends know each other inside out; there's no shame in dressing like a slob or staying in instead of going thefoodlumscatering.com: Lauren Leonhardt. Sep 28, Your best friend has seen you in all types of tees - the one you got from a Walk-A-Thon back in , the one you accidentally puked on during a horrible party a year or so ago, and the one that Author: Karen Belz.
This will make you appreciate each other even more while reducing the risk of becoming annoying to each other. Method 3 of Start calling them nicknames that are flirty or affectionate. Casual nicknames that you call a friend may give them the impression that you are not interested in them.
Instead, try to call them pet names that convey that you think they are special or attractive. This will help transition your relationship from friendship to love. Put effort into impressing them despite your comfort with them. Friendship means a certain level of familiarity and comfort that may not scream "romance.
Add intrigue to the relationship to keep and increase their interest. Pursue more romantic activities while you are together. A good way to shift your relationship from friendship to romance is to change your routine together. Create excitement by spending time in situations or places you have never been to. Avoid having "dates" that involve activities you did together as friends, such as playing video games or sports.