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Where is the husband? Her name is Josette Ulibarri, and she has no arms or legs. There was a slow couple who lived in the house behind mine. The wife was slower than the husband.
They belonged to a fundy church. They had to sell their car to make the down payment on the house. It was part of an affordable housing development built in the early 90s in an expensive area. All of the disabled people I know are involved with other disabled people. I think there's a morbidly obese mentally disabled lesbian couple that I see around town pretty often.
They ride their scooters side by side and everyone has to clear a path for them. Treat Williams played the hottest mentally challenged guy in cinema history, who falls in love with Kelly McGillis. They, along with Paco the parrot, run from their little hick town to start over and set up house so they can kiss "while they got no clothes on. It used to show up on Starz Romance every now and again back in the '00s.
If you ever run across it, watch it; it's a scream. I have volunteered with the Special Olympics for ages now and have "retarded" friends. They are all quite sweet. What is cool is that they are all open hearted and gay friendly.
It is hard to explain but it is like they just plainly do not give a fuck if someone is gay or straight at all. But my friends who I volunteer for are really cool. I invite them to parties and everything. Maybe she was on the lower side of average herself r I think there had to be something very wrong with her mentally or emotionally. I know some fatties and some are were desperate and married what they could get, but none married mentally handicapped people. This planet is lucky to have you r R14, was the mentally diabled gay couple in Portland?
I think I've seen them before if so, and they are really sweet together. I remember watching a TV movie from way back about a young mentally disabled couple who meet and marry. I don't remember the name of it but it starred Shaun Cassidy and Lilly Purl. I remember it being very touching and supposedly based on a true story.
His daughters were at least as "slow" as he was. All nice, law-abiding, decent people - big church goers Protestant. Look up Doug Forbis. These people have a condition where their spines are not fully formed.
They have most or all of the soft tissue "equipment", but it's all squished together when they are "sitting" on it.
Some of them have small non-functional legs and choose to have them removed. In the small town my family was originally from, a scandal occured when a widow woman neighbor married a relatively handsome but "slow" man young enough to be her son.
My religious grandmother rejected the judgemental gossip of the townspeople, saying she thought that God had made him childlike and innocent and she believed he did not have any sexual urges. My uncle who had gone to school with him laughed at her behind her back for believing that, telling us that the man might be somewhat retarded but he had the largest penis he had ever seen, and that in high school the sluttier girls had a game where they used to ask him to show it to them but then the girls would run away giggling once he took it out and it immediately grew hard.
I will say she did became one of the most cheerful 60 year olds I have ever seen, she had a glow until the day she died.
Dating a mentally disabled person
When she died in her sleep many years later, he came running to my grandmother's house, tears streaming down his face and said "Miss Loretta, I looked over at her when I woke up I think Bertha has done drawn her last breath".
I am of normal intelligence and I am married to a man with an IQ of Its nearly impossible to know what he will do next, what will anger him and if I can trust him at all. I need help! I know a guy who literally has the intelligence of a 14 or 15 year old. Sometimes I'm convinced he suffers from traumatic brain injury, or he's legitimately retarded.
Fortunately, his wife is young and immature, but even she thinks something's off with him.
A guy I went to high school married a developmentally delayed girl. She was high functioning but could never have lived on her own; he was intelligent but socially very awkward.
It's an unusual marriage but they've been together 15 years now and seem happy. Yeah r25, I would have fucked the hell out of retarded Tim in that movie. That was before Mel started oozing creepiness.
I grew up in a small town and my grandparents lived next door to a a couple, the wife was of average intelligence and her husband had a low IQ.
The husband worked as a janitor for the local school district. He rotated between the schools. I saw him working at my middle school and high school. There was gossip around town that his wife used to cheat on him.
To the dumbass who called that sweet lady a desperate fatty. You obviously have a very ugly heart and a very ugly inside which im sure reflects your outside as well. People with mental disabilities are human beings and deserve love like everyone else. Even you. I am a fit and attractive woman. I have my RN and i work very hard. I have been dating a man that has problems such as these and i feel i have been blessed to meet such a person. He has such a great personality and keeps me laughing all the time.
He is kind, caring, loving and compassionate. He is brave and adventurous and He has a beautiful heart and a beautiful soul that shines all the way to the outside. And i have fallen in love with him. I am not desperate. I am just in love with a beautiful person, and there is nothing wrong with that. They are special, beautiful people who are carved innocently and perfectly by God.
Anyone who is in love with, or is loved by peopele like these have been blessed by the good Lord himself. My friend's aunt was mentally retarded. My friend's grandmother was incredibly wealthy. An opportunist married her, thinking the old bat would die any minute, he'd inherit half her fortune, and could then dump the retarded wife. They had a son, who is normal. However, the aunt was incapable of caring for the son. Is it wrong for my sister-in-law to date a retarded man? This strikes me as very, very wrong.
Am I a bigot, or is this a well-founded concern? She's nearly 30, and has been coddled by her parents to a degree that has stunted her growth, emotionally and developmentally. She still lives with her parents, doesn't drive, leaves the house only for her job full-time, caring for the elderly with Alzheimer's in a retirement facilityand I suspect she's chronically depressed. My wife and I are working on her teaching her to develop life goals, encourage her to make friends, encouraging her to seek therapy, and so inbut FWIW, she's got a college degree, she's actually pretty outgoing, and is a regular churchgoer.
Fundamentally, there's nothing wrong with her that couldn't be cured with a year of living on her own and a couple of years of therapy. This guy lives in a group home. He works at a minimum wage job at the age of I'd be surprised if he had a high school degree. He's not capable of driving.
5 Do's and Dont's of Dealing with Other's Mental Illness
You might not know he was retarded in a conversation of a minute or two, but much longer than that and it becomes clear that something is wrong with him. His two best friends have Down's syndrome; their first date involved hanging out with them after which he immediately started referring to her as "my girlfriend".
He's perfectly nice, apparently harmless, and she thinks he's sweet. I find this horrifying for multiple reasons, but to get to the crux of my question, this seems exploitative and utterly inappropriate. If she were dating somebody with paralysis, blindness, or deafness, I can't see why I'd have any problem with it.
But to date with marriage her single-minded goal a retarded man is in a totally different realm, for ethical and societal reasons that I can't quite put my finger on. Should I just get over it, or is this fundamentally wrong for her to do? Maybe they really connect and that is all there is to it. He is sweet to her and isn't always telling her what's wrong with her life. Maybe he makes her feel like she's got her crap together and is doing alright. Does she appear to be happy?
If yes, leave it alone. I understand your distress, but it's not your decision to make. Has she asked your opinion? Until then, keep it to yourself. You don't sound bigoted so much as condescending "My wife and I are working on her.
As is he, even if you don't understand or approve. Developmentally they both sound like they are pretty close on a couple of levels. Not saying that your sister couldn't or won't "grow out of this," but what if she doesn't? What if "Corky" becomes your brother-in-law?
What are you going to do then? Let your sister live her life. It sounds like she's already had enough people meddling in it already your parents - let her make her own mistakes. So is it your opinion then that any kind of retardation means the person is condemned to a lonely existence without the any romance or love, ever? That's one cold outlook. Maybe you ought to think on that a bit. Fundamentally, there's nothing wrong with her.
The world has all sorts of people and letting others even in-laws live their own variation of Life is what keeps each other from becoming boring and nosy.
Apr 13, I mean, a real mentally retarded person married to or living with a person with average intelligence. %0D %0D You sometimes see couples with disparate wealth and attractiveness, but I can't think of a single couple like this. Nov 04, What a fantastic article! I think this is such great advice. Considering the fact that the person who is worried about dating someone with a mental illness probably has an undiagnosed illness, I'd love to see you do a follow-up on that. Many people don't consider addictions, to sex, work, alcohol etc. a mental illness. Jun 20, YES!!!!! remember that some people cannot help the way they walk, talk, or how the look. Also it is okay to date younger people. my parents are 10 years apart!!! if you really like her, date her. true love should not be stopped by beauty or personalities, but by the way you feel about each other.
I think this is exactly the ethical problem you're trying to put your finger on, OP - that if there isn't a compatible level of intellectual curiosity, and they aren't able to converse on levels your sister-in-law is interested in and accustomed to conversing on, you're wondering if she is just using him to feel better about herself. I wonder if there's an association that advocates for the mentally retarded that might have some advice on dating and relationships? Your wife could bring her sister those concerns, along with some background, and still be treating her like an adult.
It's her call what to do about it all, but there's nothing illegitimate about a family member expressing concerns. I believe you are right to be concerned about the exploitation of persons who are not quite fully capable on engaging the adult world on their own. You might even be right to be concerned that your sister-in-law has some issues to work through. However, this relationship is not necessarily exploitation, is not necessarily counter to her working through her issues, and is not necessarily your responsibility.
Mentally retarded adults often have romantic relationships. Sometimes they are the same sort of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships that third-graders have; sometimes they are more than that. Mentally retarded adults have jobs, lives, and all sorts of relationships outside those they have with their families and caretakers, and-shockingly-they have them with people who are not mentally retarded. It is usually someone's responsibility-much like a parent's responsibility-to make sure that mentally retarded adult stays safe and makes good decisions; it is not yours in this case.
If you are concerned, talk to this man's family. If your sister-in-law and this man are connecting on a real level, let them connect. Everyone needs human contact and everyone deserves human contact with people who treat them like someone valuable. If your sister-in-law is not treating him like someone who is valuable or is treating him like an inferior, or a puppy or a kindergartner who brings her flowers from the playground, then you should talk to her about how she's treating this person.
First of all, what does your wife think? This is her sibling, not yours. On the other hand, you do have a cause for concern because if this relationship develops to the point where procreation becomes a possibility, then, depending on the health of your wife's parents, there is the remote likelihood that a child will exacerbate any possible mental health issues your sister-in-law has, and the state may find the father lacking in necessary parental skills. Meaning, there is the very offhand chance that you and your spouse may find yourself either legally unlikely or morally a bit more likely, but still not very likely responsible for any child resulting from this relationship.
Though that's a long way down the road, and although I'm inferring a lot for instance, your sister-in-law may have absolutely no mental health issuesthe fact is something similar to this did happen to someone in my family, many years ago.
The father ran away, the mother had a nervous breakdown, and grandma and grandpa raised the daughter for the first few years of her life until it was obvious that she had severe mental and emotional disabilities, at which point she was taken away to state facility. Bad story, awful, no good comes of it to even think about it.
Feb 21, Of course. They're people, too, as human as the rest of us. Why shouldn't they have meaningful relationships? Your typical intellectually-disabled person is in the mild to moderate range, the sort of person who's very much like anybody else, only. As with many other dating sites for people with disabilities, it also offers the opportunity to date or make friends through chat, secure email and message boards. Mainstream Dating Websites If none of these disability-centric dating sites catch your interest, then consider looking at more mainstream options like OKCupid, eHarmony, Tinder or Match. Aug 11, No one posting here thinks that the mentally retarded should be locked in cages, or not allowed to date or to have fulfilling human relationships. The original poster is asking whether he should be concerned that his "normal" sister-in-law is dating a man who may not be able to give informed consent to an adult relationship.
But stuff like that happens. Anyway, your sister-in-law probably just enjoys the attention she is getting from this guy. That will wear off after awhile. I don't think you should be worried, but I do want to say that I understand why you are concerned, and I don't think you're an evil person for having such thoughts.
You want the best for her, and you want her to grow up, but the fact is, she has to live her own life and make her own decisions and learn from them. I don't think this is fundamentally wrong for her to do-she's not dating him to exploit him or take advantage of him.
She feels comfortable with him and thinks he's sweet and nice to her-which is much better than dating a controlling abuser, in my opinion. If you get involved, it seems like you'd be no better than her controlling, coddling parents, which is what put her in a situation where she lives at home at 30 and doesn't drive. You disapprove of how they treated her, so why are you trying to mimic it?
It depends on whether she's actually exploiting him and it doesn't sound like she is. Retarded is like short. We're all a little retarded, it's just a question of degree.
I can understand being driven slightly nuts by her life, it's understandable to want to 'fix' her, but she's thirty years old and unless she has suffered some trauma that needs to be recovered from, she really needs to make her own choices.
I'd be freaked out too, but I think you need to work on letting go of feeling responsible for her life. Oh, and I'm not saying no neurotypical person should ever date a non-neurotypical person, just that there are extra concerns about exploitation there, depending on the severity of the impairment it seems that when the genders are reversed, people tend to recognize that more easilyand it might be well to talk to people who are versed in these issues.
Please don't refer to him as retarded. My sister has developmental disabilities, but for the last 6 months has become engaged to a guy who I do not approve of - he takes advantage of her and basically uses her as a babysitter for his 3 children.
He has friends who have been in and out of jail, and he may have been too, but my sister won't tell anyone the truth. So I basically have your concerns, in reverse. I think she should be dating someone in a similar situation to herself, not this guy who has immense problems and complications that my sister really does not need. But she's obsessed with marriage and believes she'll never find anyone better. But ultimately, and it is so hard for me to admit and to say, she has to choose what she wants.
And so does your sister. Unless she wants my advice, I can't give it. We have grown apart over the years and it has been difficult for me, but this is the path she has chosen for herself. Unless she's in some kind of danger, support her until she asks your advice. I can't help thinking the replies thus far would be different if the genders were reversed. Relationships are nominally between 'equals' and you don't see them as such which makes you uneasy.
That's fine, but not your call to make. If they're happy and not showing any unhealthy signs, I'd just wish them the best.
In the long term a big intellectual gulf might cause relationship problems; but fundamentally, they would be her problems, not yours. They might work out as a couple. They might not. They've got the right to find that out for themselves without you sticking your oar in.
Do you think she's exploiting this man simply because he's got a lower IQ? Because if he's happily calling her his girlfriend and introducing her to his friends he doesn't sound like he feels exploited.
There are some nasty cases where people with learning disabilities have been exploited by partners without LD - milk them financially for everything they've got, then leave. Your sister doesn't sound like she'd even consider doing anything like that. Summary: get over yourself. What's coming through loud and clear in your question is frustration with your sister-in-law.
Which, as pointed out previously - it's her life. Unless she's asked for your help changing it, take a deep breath and a step back.
Is it okay to date a mentally retarded person?
Is it a genuine relationship? Can you trust yourself to determine whether or not it's a genuine relationship, understanding that "genuine"! If your sister-in-law is dealing with this man honestly and on a level appropriate to his understanding, then I don't see an ethical problem.
If she's not manipulating him, being cruel to him, or being completely unrealistic about his capabilities in this relationship, then this is your issue to get over, not hers.
I can understand your concern - the power differential between the two could potentially be very unbalanced - but you're not making a concrete case for that happening here. Based on what you've said about your sister-in-law's work and personal life, it sounds like this relationship could be just fine for both parties.
If it works for the two of them, there's nothing wrong with it. And ultimately this is their decision.
Oct 27, Those entering such a relationship should have an authentic motivation, and if there's a significant mental functioning difference, should not take advantage of the mentally disabled thefoodlumscatering.com: Phillip Milano. Aug 27, It will be a real drag to date someone with a physical disability, because they are "damaged" people. You will have to take care of them physically and mentally. Fact. Sep 11, Mentally challenged dating with a normal person which would be a woman Sex, dating and relationships - Disabled people tell Scope their Mentally challenged mother and gifted daughter share Author: Matthew Sasena.
That "we're working on her" expression in your question brought me to a halt as I read. It's nice that you care about this woman and are trying to help her, but maybe your attitude towards her could do with some adjusting.
I have a friend who has an at least average IQ, probably higher, and who married a guy who probably has an IQ on the borderline of being handicapped. They've been married for something like 12 years now, and were together maybe three years before that. She is a very controlling and self-absorbed person, and I think all she really wanted in a man was that he let her run their lives and be her audience. He's willing to do that, and moreover he's a sweet-natured, hard-working, conscientious and good-looking guy.
Her former relationships were blitzkriegs; in his he got used for sex and then dumped a lot. It seems to be working. They seem happy, and they've got a nice home and good life together. Not my cup of tea at all, but it's also not my life so my preferences in tea aren't even really relevant.
There can be very different dynamics in relationships. Try to keep an open mind and you might learn something here. Date her if she wants to go out with you. Who cares what others say. It's ok if u date a mentally retarted person. If you refer as her as "a mentally retarded person" then you look down on her an you underestimate her intelligence, she's one person just like you or me, but you already put on her a label It's obvious you have serious issues and prejudges, better leave her alone before you hurt her.
ate: Okay well i'm also wondering if I should ask for her parents permission or just go ahead? Answer Save. Dating A Mentally Challenged Person.