But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of year-old single guys. If you want a case study in humanity, year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered. The Total Package is smart-he went to a top college. The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler. Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection. His Juliet.
Very true. Women evaluate a man's desirabilityin part, by how he has been received by other women. If that man has never had a woman be sexually receptive to him, it tells the woman that other women don't find him desirable, and it will be an automatic turnoff for most women.
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Jul 21, What do women think of 30 year old virgin men? I am around 30 years old (male) and have never experienced so much as a kiss. The reason for my staus is rooted in both religion (Catholic) and the notion that relationships this early in life could derail my educational and professional goals. Oct 09, But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of year-old single guys. If you want a case study in humanity, year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered. Let's examine some of the common types: 1) The Total Package. The Total Package is smart-he went to a top college. The Total Package is an. Oct 24, -Thirty-Year-Old Virgin Dear Virgin, "I don't have a condom" is "The dog ate my homework" of the lifetime virgin. You say you're worried he's not interested in sex.
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Search this Thread Advanced Search. Similar Threads Would you date a virgin? Follow City-Data. Twitter :. Ladies, would you date a 30 year old virgin? User Name. Remember Me. Advanced Search. One disclaimer: some folks who want to wait until marriage are only saying this because they don't actually want to have sex. One of my relatives married a dude like this and was unpleasantly surprised on the honeymoon night.
I would suggest ah Btw, this week's Savage Love podcasts talks to some virginsif that interests you any. I recently read this question and think you may find it and the responses helpful. Virginity is not that big a deal and I think it's a mistake to invest it with too much importance.
I would bring it up in the context of "waiting for marriage," since that is an issue. If you just wanted to have sex and move on, I would say not to mention it. But your partner is likely to want sex at some point, and that's not on the table, so you need to be up front about that.
Not up front as in first date, but up front as in Something between where sex would ordinarily be a thing people might start expecting to happen and the start of a committed relationship.
Your stance would be a deal-breaker for me. I wouldn't want to remain in a long-term relationship with no sex.
I wouldn't want to get married without knowing we were compatible in a long-term relationship including but not limited to sexually. I can only speculate that this would be an issue for a lot of people in their 30s most, in factbut it certainly wouldn't be a deal-breaker for everyone. I think you're more likely to have a lot of success finding compatible people in that regard with people who are religious and take religion pretty seriously.
Wilson at PM on January 24, [ 2 favorites ].
What's so bad about that? This will not limit your choices at all, and you should not second guess yourself. There are plenty of things more enjoyable and more meaningful than sex - one of them is sticking to your guns and doing the right thing.
I don't think that being virgin at age thirty is "horrible," but I do think you're in a tough spot if you use the language of conservative Christian values but aren't an active believer.
May 30, Fine, I was not quite 30, but almost And a virgin. But she felt comfortable around me - and I did feel comfortable around her. We never talked about being virgins. I knew that I was, and assumed her to be the same way, as she is 5 years younge. Oct 15, I am a year-old male heterosexual virgin. I spent high school being intimidated by the world of sex and dating, I spent college feeling self-conscious about not having gotten any in high Author: Stoya. Jun 02, Personally it would be a turn off for me, not because of the actual fact he's a virgin, but for a number of other reasons: 1- it would indicate some lack of confidence of their behalf 2- I'm not very confident in the bedroom myself so I like a man who takes charge 3- I found sex quite awkward and clunky for the first few times and it was awful, I couldn't then go back to that helping someone.
I think mrs. There is absolutely no harm in educating yourself about sexual health and exploring and getting comfortable with your sexuality in ways that feel safe to you.
Jan 24, FWIW, I'm a year-old non-virgin and this has happened to me thefoodlumscatering.com I met someone interesting in the last year. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, as the saying goes, regardless of whether you're willing to go to third base with them or not. Mar 03, Man C: I didn't set out to be a year-old virgin, but it just kind of happened. I've always been fairly shy when it comes to approaching women, and I tend to be very suspicious if someone Occupation: Sex & Relationships Editor. Feb 26, Would any women date a 22 year old virgin male, Relationships, 10 replies 37 year old virgin needs help, Relationships, replies Follow thefoodlumscatering.com founder on our Forum or.
I don't mean, "If you just learn about birth control, you'll be comfortable having intercourse"-what I mean is, right now your explanation of your values is based on shame and fear. Your description is pretty off-putting, both because it sounds like you have some religious baggage and also because you don't seem to be making these decisions in an adult way.
You could make the exact same choice based on facts and self-awareness, and it would be far less off-putting. So, I'm not saying you should go out and have sex. I am saying that you should invest some time and energy into exploring, embracing, and owning your sexuality in a healthy, adult way. It is a deal breaker for most men in the age bracket you are looking at. It is also a highly important ct of who you are as a person and you are looking for a person who needs to complement what you require.
So it needs to be brought up very early in the piece and you need to be very clear that you require that in a relationship before that relationship goes forward.
Essentially, make it a dealbreaker for you by articulating it clearly to any future potential partners. This will not limit your choices at all Nothing is bad about it, but I think it's a little disingenuous to say that it will not limit her choices at all.
Unless she confines her dating to people who share her desire to wait, which seems like a small subset of the potential dating pool, the no sex before marriage thing will be a dealbreaker for a lot of guys. Which is not to say that it's not possible, but the OP is going to have to be upfront about her beliefs to avoid wasting her time.
Ok, so I will preface this with feel free to totally disregard what I'm about to say if you really feel that strongly about it but you need to seriously reconsider your stance on premarital sex. At the very least you need to be open to the possibility that you may meet someone and that there will come a time in that relationship, prior to marriage or even engagement, that you will want to have sex with them and feel comfortable having sex with them. You need to put it on the table.
I'm nt saying on date 1 or 3 or 15, but somewhere before lifetime commitment.
Dating a 30 year old male virgin
From the sound of it you are deeply uncomfortable with premarital sex. What I'm not getting however is an actual moral objection to it. I feel that you are still trying to work out that distinction. And there is a distinction.
If you are no longer deeply religious what is holding you back? You need to explore that. You need to figure out what do I really find immoral and what just scares me. Because having sex for the first time is scary. You are taking a risk.
You are putting yourself out there. It's not easy. I don't know who said it first, but I find it to be entirely true, that it is both the most overwhelming and underwhelming experience of your life. But I digress. How big of a deal is it? Well do you want to marry someone extremely religious? Because if you do you are good to go, but if you are looking for someone more moderate, well, honestly not having sex before marriage is unheard of except in the hyper religious communities. Unheard of.
And even in very religious communities it happens a lot. That's not to say being a virgin is a deal breaker. I don't think it is.
I really don't, but the no pre marital sex almost certainly is. That's not to say you should feel rushed. A lot of people are willing to wait, just not until marriage. That's why I'm saying be open.
As a young teen, my grade 7 Catholic school elementary teacher thought masturbation was selfish and immoral. I thought it was good advice at the time.
I didn't start until I was 21 as I was transitioning to atheism. The previous belief I had was wrong and masturbation can be an essential component to keeping guys level headed. I was also judging my friends because they were masturbating. Values change and maybe you're making your life difficult when it shouldn't be. If part of the subtext of this question is "where might I find a guy who isn't totally wigged out by a 30 year old virgin, and a virgin who may not have pre-marital sex at all, especially one who probably shares my semi-religious cultural background?
There are tons of them. But yes, you'd have to actually find a church. Maybe volunteer groups in the area. Habitat for Humanity sponsored by a conservative church. That kind of thing. My first boyfriend didn't tell me for 6 months that he didn't want his first kiss until his wedding day. I spent that whole time thinking I had bad breath or something. It strikes me as really prudish. I think it's taking chasteness too far.
Look, at 29 I went and got a random hookup to get it over with, and it sucked. It hurt and he turned out to be kind of creepy. Maybe you'd have a different experience, but I say don't do it just to get it over with.
It'll be fine if you're still dating in a religious pool. If it's about pregnancy, you could always date a sterile man. If it's not about pregnancy - which it doesn't really sound like - then you might want to reflect on the overall nature of your sexuality. Particularly your own drives. You don't mention any. Have you ever? Apart from the fear of pregnancy, and apparently only former moral objection. Have you had and are you open to oral sex?
Would you date a man in his 30's who is still a virgin?
I'm kind of getting the vibe from your post that you're not into sex. Which is fine, but it could influence advice on how to discuss this with your future partner. Wilson at PM on January 24, Do be aware that the moment you say, "I do not want to have sex before marriage," there are going to be those who will take that as a challenge. You are a "celibate" if not having sex. If you still feel more like a "virgin", you can stop reading here.
While it is a nice feeling, society is not going to validate your decisions. Why is it that the 40 yr old virgin is a comedy? Why is it that a celebrity's admission of celibacy is "shocking"?
Why is it that the fact that one in four American teen girls have at least one STD is not more shocking? What is popular is not always right and what is right for you may not be as popular- but you need to know what is right for you and then stick with it and be proud of it.
The vow aside, you have to really know, deep within your heart, what you really want. What you really want is what you will look for outside, to date. And this applies not just to sex but also marriage. Nothing wrong with that but its important you really know what you want to be able to find it. I do not know what you mean by other forms of dating. If you are going for online dating, this is something that some people will mention explicitly in their profiles.
There are profiles that imply this with the language they use and given the heavy stance on religion, its all pretty obvious. Not telling people that you are a "virgin" is not horrible, not anymore than not sharing the intimate details of your sexual health with a potential partner, or not discussing it at all! The only reason its better to let the other person know is that you can gauge your compatibility. Yeah, everyone wants to know that you have the Ebola on the first date so they can run away as fast as they can.
Maybe that too. Depends on the person you date. The answers in this thread also give a very idea how the reactions are going to be, which are, well, all over the spectrum. Finally, while you ponder on these things, like someone mentioned above- don't be clueless.
Read and learn what all the fun is about! I'm getting married later this year, a few months after my 30th birthday wow, I just realized that connection for the first timeand I'll be a virgin until then.
I also grew up in a Christian household, though my family isn't as legalistic as yours sounds to be I'm sorry if that comes across judgmental, I don't intend it to be. I'm not a fundamentalist, far from it actually, and not conservative, but I did make the decision when I was much younger to stay a virgin until I'm married.
LOOK AT THIS BIG BUTTON WE MADE
I've lived an adventurous life so far, and certainly am not one of those sheltered Christians who's only friends with other Christians. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty normal. I've had plenty of opportunities to change my mind, so to speak, but have stuck with it, and I'm glad that I did.
If he doesn't have those types of skills he's viewed as weird and sad. The older I get, the worse it seems.
Like, "This guy is nearly 30, there must be something wrong with him if he hasn't had a girlfriend or had sex by this point. Do you feel a pressure to lose your virginity at a certain time? I know that it's a decision that I've made personally and I stand by it. Man B: Yes. My Western friends in high school and college talked about having sex like it was going to movie, so being a virgin after 25 seems to be ridiculous in the West and in developed Asian countries.
Still, I am my worst critic. I never tell anyone that I have never been in a relationship or kissed anyone. Even my friends here have been kissed and been in a relationship. Man C: Yeah, but I'm pretty much to the point where I feel like if it hasn't happened by now, it's probably not in the cards for me. Before, every time I hit it off with someone and they appeared to like me, I would think, This is it, it's finally going to happen!
I'm going to have sex! Have you ever come close to having sex, but you didn't? Man A: The closest I ever came was last summer in Canada.
I had a waitress at one of the cafes leave me her number at breakfast, so I texted her later in the day. It was the first time I had ever gone home with someone because of what the implications are when you head home with someone.
We picked up where we left off and eventually moved to her bed. She climbed on top of me and started to reach for my penis, but I stopped her and told her I was a virgin.
She seemed understanding because she'd grown up in the church too, but she was disappointed. Man B: One time after a party, an older Japanese woman brought me to a bar, but after she left the bar, she just ended up getting a cab home. I still think that I blew my first chance of having a one-night stand, but I don't know why. I think maybe she was tired or just lost interest in me. We rounded a few of the bases, but never slid into home. I ended up breaking things off with her because it was a purely physical relationship, and I felt like I was using her, and I wanted an emotional as well as physical relationship.
Man A: I think when most people think of male virgins in their late 20s, they think of a guy living in his mom's basement playing video games and searching message boards all day. They also think that male virgins haven't ever dated anyone or are totally inexperienced.
I own my own place, I'm working on my career, go out when my time allows, and participate in a lot of social groups. Remaining a virgin until marriage is a choice that I've made that's as simple as Coke vs. Pepsi, but because I'm in the minority, people think it's dumb.
Man B: I think male virgins are seen as total losers, which is weird because I can't see how guys who have a lot of sex with people they're not in a solid relationship with are better than guys who haven't. Man C: That we're losers. I mean, I'm kind of a loser in other ways, but not because I haven't slept with anybody.
I've done a lot of cool stuff, and I have a lot of good qualities, and I think I'd make a great partner, but finding one has been really hard. What advice would you give to other male virgins out there? Man A: I would say just be true to yourself and be at peace with the decision you've made, if it is a decision.
If you feel like it's holding you back or that you're "missing out," then go ahead and have sex. I don't have any of those feelings to the point where it would change the decision I've made, and there's not anything that could happen that would change my mind.
If they don't respect my decision, then I know that it's not going to work out, and that's OK. Man B: Lose your virginity to someone you love, who you're in a relationship with, and consents to sex with you. Remember that there are adult virgin women who also want the same thing you do. Man C: Stay true to yourself and your beliefs. And find ways to enjoy your life that aren't centered on whether you have sex or not.
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